In the adoption world, there is so much talk about negative behaviors that come out of being in an orphanage. The main reason for this, in my opinion, is that the needs of these infants are not being met. In the first 12 months of life, the brain is basically like a stack of blocks and all of those blocks need to fit perfectly together. When a baby cries and is not comforted, that block doesn't get fit perfectly where it needs to go. These babies learn to self soothe (ex. rocking back and forth, head banging, thumb sucking, etc.) because they know that if they cry, no one will come for them. So, in turn, those blocks of the brain never get fit perfectly into place.
So, with that being said, we thought that by getting T at 12 months old, we would hopefully get him "early enough" that he wouldn't have any neglect issues. From 12 months - about 3 years old, T did not respond well with other kids. At the park, he would love going down the slides and swing, but if other kids were around, he would stay close to us. I just contributed it to the fact that he wasn't really around other kids anymore and preferred adults.
At age 3 1/2, T became a big brother through adoption. Wow....what a major adjustment!!! T did not do well with someone else taking my attention, which is common for any older sibling. But he was different. T started acting out more, having major meltdowns, started wetting the bed again, and being "down right mean" at times. So my husband and I were torn...is this typical 3 1/2 year old behavior or is this something more? We worked with him on his behavior by using positive reinforcement (or trying anyway!) and making sure that he got alone time with each parent. After about a year, we felt that the adjustment period was over and that T needed some help with how to overcome his behaviors and action.
Next Stop: International Adoption Doctor
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